Week 1: Everyone Shows Up For Opening Night

theater-masks-colorful-squareI thought starting the Master Key Mastermind Alliance experience would be easy. After all, I successfully made it through graduate school. I figured I’d get the syllabus, gather my supplies, go to class, and start the readings and assignments. You know…ease into it. What I experienced was a bit different; perhaps because I’m older and more set in my ways than I was in those grad school years or because I’m in a stage of life where I am encountering several major life changes. Yet, most likely it’s because with each passing year of life, I have let emotions and experiences guide me as opposed to giving intentions and desires full reign. Thus, the exact reason I chose to embark on this Master Key Journey.

As with the start of any new venture comes an array of emotions. Change seems to be a two headed monster for me. Head One is eager, hopeful, excited; I like her. It’s her evil twin sister I can do without. Yet, Head Two is always there with her fear, doubt, and cynicism. Head One longs to be an only child.

The type of change doesn’t really matter… relocating cross country, a new job search or business venture, meeting and making new friends, or embarking on a six month self-discovery course. Whatever the case, for me, an array of characters show up to play, comment, and struggle to get their own way:

The Achiever is best described as awesome! Eager to get started and a consummate cheerleader continuously shouting “You can do this!” She’s the reason I press on and move forward. My motivator and lifeline. After all, this journey was all her idea as she knows I am more than a conqueror!

The Child is my FAVORITE of all that show up. Simple. Joyful. I LOVE HER! Harnessing far more excitement than the average person for organizing supplies for success, she jumped in with both feet. Notebooks, binders, dividers OH MY! Colored pencils, highlighters, and index cards too. I could barely contain the 8-year old inside of me that was ready to break out the Lisa Frank stickers and start embellishing! I settled for making my own cover pages for the binders and told myself it was time to focus because The Child would play for hours if left to her own devices.

The Dreamer is my dear friend. Always hopeful and idealistic. I love her but sometimes feel like I have to shake her back into reality. She desperately wants change and the desired outcomes and effects that come with persistence and hard work, however, she seems to lose her way and not know how to reach them. Thus, causing her to throw in the towel. If only she could stay the course.  

The Perfectionist is a fair weather friend. She definitely puts up the strongest fight to stay alive despite several attempts to put her in her place. She brings with her feelings of being overwhelmed and a need to second guess every decision; leaving me feeling as though there is a continuous game of ping pong in my head. The reality is that I hang onto her because I believe her to be a driving force in my accomplishments but, truth be told, I’m on a quest to have her permanently replaced with The Spirit of Excellence who is much better company.

The Critic is my biggest bully! Inciting fear and doubt into every nook and cranny possible. Despite knowing her manipulative lies, she continues to rage on; occasionally catching me off guard. I’m amazed by how long she has been able to keep me on a detour. But, no more! I have a keen sense of direction and she will not succeed in running me off the road. God is my GPS and he goes before me making the crooked path straight. I will reach my destination.

It’s only week 1 of the journey…opening night if you will. As the “actors” battle it out in my head running lines and fighting for screen time…My Heart begins to scream… “Clear the stage for the TRUE STAR of the show!”

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About Jewels Horvath

As I examine my life, I have numerous things to be grateful for and several life accomplishments to be proud of. Yet, despite these things, I have always had a lingering feeling that I am operating at a level far below what I am truly capable of. Inside I long for greater intellectual challenges, deeper relationships, stronger faith, more adventure, and overall greater success and fulfillment. Every so often I would get a spark going in one or more of these areas, yet soon thereafter it would burn out. Repeated smothering of fires seemed to be a theme; I struggled to keep them lit long enough to make a change. This blog marks the start of a six month journey of DISCOVERY, INTENTION, and REALIZATION of my true heart's desires utilizing the Master Key Mastermind Alliance. Thanks for joining me on this journey. IT'S TIME TO FAN THE FLAME!
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